Has your child ever wanted something they couldn’t have? Not just a passing fancy, but a Big Want, Right Now, I Mean It? When should you say no? When should you give in? It’s very challenging to a child when they feel The Big Want and it is very challenging for the adult assisting the child.
Sometimes, it helps to imagine yourself as the guardrails for your child’s behavior. You may feel like a beat up and bent guardrail at the end of the day, but rest assured you are doing the best thing for your child by giving them boundaries when you say no!
Some steps to take when your child is stuck in The Big Want: • Direct them to take 3 deep breaths • Sympathize, but remain firm in your no. “I wish you could have it, but it’s not your turn.” • Distract child with something else to look forward to. “We can’t have this right now, but when we get ______, you can have ________.” • Remove child from the space and take to a new room or even outdoors. Change the view, change the mood! • Move on quickly. Do not dwell on the object/activity. State, “We aren’t going to do that now, and we are all done talking about it.” • Be silly! Use humor to distract.
Saying no is an important skill to have as a parent and an educator. It’s never fun to say no or to hear no, but it is an important skill to develop to deal with future situations.
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